The Ballad Of Harry and Draco
by sherbetlemon2
Summary: Harry is Depressed. General drunkeness and lots of Sirius counselling Hermione's misguided attempts to help ensue. But bear with my serious facade until it cracks. Rated for swearing and slash (mild). HerNev, HarDra, SirRem, LunRon, MinSyb, GilSev.
1. Let us Somberly Set the Scene

A/N : AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I am BACK…. silence  
Hm, yes. OK this is random and short WILL go somewhere. I must remember how I did this shit in the first place, so do bear with me.

"Anyone for Exploding Snap?"  
Ron's would-be-cheerful words were met with silence. The Gryffindors sprawled in their common room to the sound of heavy rain, having just come in from their disastrous match against Ravenclaw.  
Ginny yawned, looking mournful.  
"I'm off to bed."  
"Oh no, come on Gin… Let's do something, for God's sake," said Hermione, sounding thoroughly exasperated. Ginny looked round at her.  
"Such as?"  
Hermione shook her head. Ron brightened.  
"Let's go annoy Snape," he suggested.  
"Novel," said Ginny scathingly.  
Harry suddenly sat up and walked out. Ron looked mildly surprised, but Hermione merely followed him out into the corridor.  
"What's wrong, Harry?" the others heard her ask.  
Harry reached back and shut the door.  
"It's Ginny, isn't it?" sighed Hermione, confident no one could hear from the common room.  
"No," said Harry, miserable. "It's Malfoy."  
There was a pause as Hermione stared at him.  
Er."  
Harry raised his eyes to the heavens.  
"Forget it, Mione. I'm going to bed."  
He turned and made for the staircase.  
"Harry – Harry, wait!"  
Harry turned. "What?"  
"You are not leaving me with that relatively worrying piece of information."  
"I didn't – it was just…"  
He dithered into silence under Hermione's look.  
"Fine. Fine, OK. Go tell the others if it would make you happy. Give you all something to do, right? Work out whether I've really lost it yet."  
"Harry, what are talking about? You know I'd never tell them anything. Just… What did you mean, exactly? I … misinterpreted, or something. What about Malfoy?"  
Harry stared at her.  
"I'm in love with him, Hermione."  
"Oh. Oh, right," said Hermione, sounding somewhat hollow.  
"Yes. Um, well, I shall see you tomorrow, Mione."  
Hermione watched him go, frowning slightly. Then, slowly, she turned and climbed the stairs to bed.

A/N : Anyone? Yes? Comments scouring criticism welcome. Also unabashed praise will not go unnoticed.


	2. Whiskey Intervenes to Uphold a Flailing ...

A/N : Yes, yes, couldn't leave you with that pathetically short chapter, knowing as I do that so many of your and waiting in agonizing suspense for the next instalment.  
…. Ahem. Ahahaha. Onward.

Hermione lay in bed.  
"Oh dear, what can the matter be?" she hummed.  
"Are you HIGH?" inquired someone rather forcefully from the other side of the dorm.  
Hermione relapsed into meek silence and returned to pondering the matter of Harry.  
This was a complex matter to anyone's eyes, but tonight it had been made even more so. Harry in love with Draco? Hermione liked to think of herself as liberal, but it did not seem plausible. She would have been less surprised to hear Harry lusting after Snape.  
Tired of turning it over I her mind, Hermione got out of bed and walked down to the common room. It was deserted and most tranquil. She curled up in an armchair and waited for something worthwhile to happen.

Meanwhile in the boys dorm, Neville and Harry sat on the floor, pouring out their woes to each other (A/N : Do not LEAVE. They won't hook up in this lifetime.)  
"Oh, Neville. Whatever should I do?"  
"I know not! We are consumed by love and yet we sit here powerless to concretize our feelings!"  
There was a pause whilst Harry nodded politely. Neville looked at him.  
"Nevermind."  
There was a pause whilst they both contemplated the icy lake out the window.  
Neville spoke : "Look, dude, his can't go on. Lets do something about it tomorrow, OK?"  
Harry shot him a withering glance.  
"Your pined-after one is a GIRL. Nothing remotely shocking or unusual."  
Neville looked hurt. Harry rolled his eyes.  
"Sorry, dear, sorry. You ask Hermione out if it would please you. I will wallow in my self-hatred for a while longer."  
"Fine. But don't harp on so."  
"I'll do my best."

Hermione was bored. She looked out the window, focussing and unfocussing her eyes and giggling like a loon. An irate voice drifted down from her dorm :  
"Hey, share it with the rest of us, man…"  
Hermione blinked and strode up the stairs to the boy's dormitory.

"Someone COMING!" Neville squeaked.  
Harry opened his mouth, but was silenced hurriedly. They both leapt into Harry's bed as Hermione entered the room.  
"Hello?" Hermione enquired.  
There was a silence.  
"Oh, come along," she said irritably. "It is I, Hermione."  
Two heads emerged from under Harry's covers.  
"Oh, hey Mione," said Harry vaguely.

Hermione looked mildly disturbed, but dismissed whatever she was thinking and got to the point.  
"Look, I have whiskey. We are going to sit here and get drunk until you have told me what I need to know about Malfoy so I can get along with my Subtle and Cunning plan to get you together."  
She looked at Neville, who squeaked.  
"You can join in too, Neville," she said kindly.

A/N : Hm. It will get better, this I promise. Getting into my stride. Please come back :p


End file.
